Why do we avoid success?
Whether you’ve been around for a while or you just found us, you know that our aceTRANSFORM programme is all about helping people lose weight sustainably.
And with each and every single intake we see some people going through phases of self-sabotage.
They are doing incredibly well, losing weight, and feeling better and more confident.
And then… BOOM! They stuff themselves one day.
From our perspective, it’s like knowing they are cycling around happily. Then they suddenly see a stick on the ground that looks so inviting and they decide to pick it up and put it in their wheel.
We try our best to stop them, but they will only often shout for help once it’s done and they’re on the ground.
More often than not, they keep quiet for fear of judgment. “Why am I like this? What will they think of me?”
Truth is, we’re human and we’ve done the same. And, sometimes, we still do!
It’s such a normal behaviour, but why?
Our experience with thousands of clients has thaught us that there are a few possible reasons:
- FEAR OF SUCCESS: I’m doing so well now, but then? You feel like your current self is all you have ever known and you have accepted your unhappiness as part of your identity. What if you end up being happy about yourself? You wouldn’t know how to manage those feelings.
- FEAR OF FAILURE: this happens when you don’t fully trust the process. It’s almost as if you are trying to take the reigns of your failure so that you can’t blame anything or anyone else for it.
- WHAT IF A LOWER WEIGHT DOESN’T MAKE YOU HAPPY? You always thought that your unhappiness was due to your weight, but now you’re having doubts. What if that’s not the case? What is the point of even trying then?
- FOCUSED ON INSTANT GRATIFICATION: you often restrict too much to lose weight. Not seeing immediate results while eating as little as possible makes you propel in the complete opposite direction.
- WILL YOU LOSE MORE THAN WEIGHT? Maybe losing weight will mean changing identity. What if this makes you lose connections with others and yourself? Is it worth the risk?
The fear of the unknown, of losing yourself or others can be huge obstacles to overcome, and if that’s a bit of you we’re here to help. Our top tips are:
- Don’t over restrict during the week. Weekends can be triggering in the best of scenarios and even more so when you ate too little during the week. Keep a structure in place for the weekend too, even if you aren’t perfect.
- Don’t slash 3 tyres just because you have 1 flat. If things don’t go to plan once, MOVE RIGHT ON, Don’t make it worse than it needs to be.
- Don’t use food as reward. Food is for energy, it’s part of your social life and it’s for the soul. It’s not something you need to deserve or reward yourself with.
- Trust the process, really do.
- Weight loss is not a marathon, don’t go after unrealistic and fast weight loss goals.
- Don’t make the scale the be-all-end-all of your progress. It’s only one measurement and your clothes can be more reliable and tell a much different story. Use those.
- Don’t take the option completely off the table. One of our transformers has an amazing strategy. When she fancies something that doesn’t suit her goal at that particular moment, she takes 20 minutes. If, after 20 minutes, she still craves that food, she’ll have it. If not, she can easily move on. Knowing that you CAN have the food, and that you CAN choose whether to eat it or not is very empowering and will help you to avoid binges.
If you have self-sabotaged in the past, and still do sometimes, you are only human.
We would never judge, but just lend you a hand, we want to help.
And if you have been struggling with this for longer than you care to admit, maybe it’s time you got in touch with us at info@ace-lifestyle.com.
And have a look at aceTRANSFORM – it really is a game changer!
